What if the most important things in your life aren’t the things you spend the most time on?

You Can’t Take It With You, the well-known play by George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart, takes a comedic look into the brevity of life and what really matters. The story centers on a dinner at the Vanderhof home when the wealthy, reserved Kirby family meets the eccentric, carefree Vanderhof family, and chaos ensues. Grandpa Vanderhof offers some lines of advice, particularly to the Kirbys:

You’ve got all the money you need. You can’t take it with you. . . . And what’s it got you? Same kind of mail every morning,…same dinners at night, same indigestion. Where does the fun come in? Don’t you think there ought to be something more. . . . We haven’t got too much time, you know–any of us.

-Kaufman and Moss, You Can’t Take It With You, Act 3

The play suggests that since we can’t take anything with us, we should pursue enjoyment while we can.

As believers, we can enjoy plays like this, but recognize that their premise is not complete. It is true we cannot take our money with us when we die, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we should live hedonistic lives pursuing any pleasure that comes our way.

We are called to live with eternity in view, especially in our relationships with others.

Choices and Priorities

Because people are eternal, we must set our priorities in a way that is eternal.

We often prioritize tasks, success, or comfort over other people.

How often have you been focused on a task that seemed highly important when your young child approached you to ask you to read them a story, and you answered, “in a minute,” but that minute never came?

Maybe a friend really needs to talk with you, but you are overwhelmed with work, so you keep putting off responding. Before you know it, months have passed, and the opportunity is gone.

Maybe you, like the Kirbys in the play, are so focused on accumulation of wealth that you haven’t really built any meaningful relationships.

Or you know you need to have an uncomfortable conversation with someone to resolve an ongoing conflict, but you keep putting it off because you don’t want to face the discomfort.

Those are just some ways we quietly deprioritize other people. We lose opportunities and community because our focus is on temporary things instead of what lasts forever.

Relationships as Investments

In light of eternity, we must love each other in a way that is Christlike.

How often do we think about our relationships as being eternal investments? Probably not too often. Scripture shows that our relationships are meant to be shaped by a love that never ends.

Every person who trusts in Christ for salvation is adopted into the family of God:

“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,  and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ,” Romans 8:16-17

The spiritual brothers and sisters we have here on earth will be with us forever.

While this is one reason to share the gospel with those who do not yet believe, it is also an encouragement to treat one another with God’s love, even when it is difficult.

In Matthew 5 and Luke 6, Christ instructs us to love our enemies and do good to those who hate us. To bless and pray for those who curse or mistreat us. (This does not mean you must remain in an abusive situation, but it does mean refusing to let bitterness take root)

1 Corinthians 13 instructs on what God’s love looks like: patience, kindness, humility, selflessness, and endurance.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”

Why Forgiveness Matters

Because relationships don’t end, we must forgive each other in a way that is eternal.

In Matthew 18:21-22, Jesus teaches that forgiveness should not be limited. The instruction to forgive someone seventy times seven times makes it clear that there really is no limit. As often as someone sins against you, forgive them.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

Forgiveness is not dependent on the other person asking for it or apologizing. It is not a feeling; it is a decision.

It means choosing not to hold someone’s wrongs against them. You may still feel hurt, you may still grieve what was lost. You stop rehearsing the offense, you continue to pray for that other person, and you continue to love them, even if from a distance.

People are Eternal

Because people are eternal, our priorities, love, and forgiveness should reflect eternity.

[Christ] died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh…

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 

 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 

2 Corinthians 5:15-19

Who is one person you need to prioritize, love, or forgive today in light of eternity?