Prefer to Listen?
One topic that seems to resurface regularly in different church circles is disagreement over practices that Scripture does not explicitly label as sin. My goal here is not to argue whether a particular behavior is right or wrong, nor to convince anyone to change their convictions. I know thoughtful, godly people who land on different sides of these questions on multiple issues. Many of these differences are shaped by culture, background, and personal experience—what feels morally charged in one context may be entirely unremarkable in another.
The broader question I want to explore is this: how do we respond when another believer holds a different conviction than we do on an issue that Scripture treats as a matter of conscience rather than a clear command? These issues might include alcohol, dress, music, entertainment choices, recreational activities, or other practices where believers seek to apply biblical principles faithfully but arrive at different conclusions.
So when we disagree on these issues (where our opinions and beliefs are derived from wisdom, discernment, and application, not specific commands), how do we treat each other in a way that still reflects Christlikeness? Especially in our cross-cultural society where just because you were brought up to believe that one particular thing is wrong doesn’t mean that person you are fellowshipping with also believes it is wrong.
Before addressing how we relate to one another, it’s worth pausing to consider discernment itself. Not every strong conviction signals that something is sinful in itself. Scripture calls us to test whether an issue is clearly identified as sin, whether it violates a biblical command, or whether it falls into an area where wisdom, conscience, and context guide our choices. Discernment involves humility—acknowledging that our conclusions may be shaped by personal history or culture—and submission to Scripture, allowing God’s Word to set boundaries where it speaks clearly and granting freedom where it does not. Learning to distinguish between sin and conscience helps us avoid binding others with rules God has not given, while still honoring our own convictions before Him.
“We don’t want to scream where Scripture whispers.” – Tara Leigh Cobble
There is also the question of how to respond when we believe another believer may actually be sinning—not merely holding a different conviction. Scripture calls us to sober self-examination before addressing anyone else. We must first evaluate ourselves to ensure we are coming from pure motivations and not ignoring our own sins. In Matthew 7:1–5, Jesus cautions us against rushing to judgment and teaches us to “first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” With that posture of humility, we must then ask: Is this a clear biblical command being broken, or is this something I’ve concluded through personal study, wisdom, and prayer? If it is not a clear command of Scripture, we should be slow to confront and quick to “let love cover a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). But if the behavior clearly violates God’s Word or is causing harm to the person or the community, then loving, gentle, private confrontation may be necessary (Galatians 6:1; Matthew 18:15). Even then, our aim is never to win a moral argument but to restore, strengthen, and encourage. In every situation, love must guide our judgment—love that is truthful without being harsh, patient without being passive, and discerning without being accusatory.
One thing to keep in mind in these conversations would be the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23. When discussing matters of conscience, we can ask ourselves: Is what I’m about to say loving? Is my response patient and kind? Am I showing gentleness and self-control? These qualities stand in sharp contrast to the works listed earlier in the chapter—enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, rivalries, dissensions, and divisions (Galatians 5:19–21). Practically speaking, this means treating one another with respect and resisting the urge to attack or dismiss someone simply because their conclusions differ from our own.
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. – Galatians 5: 19-24, ESV
Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 8 also speak directly to these situations. While their immediate contexts differ, the heart of their message is consistent: respect one another’s convictions, do not become a stumbling block by pressuring someone to act against their conscience, and refrain from judgment or condemnation. Paul reminds us, “It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble” (Romans 14:21). Sometimes love calls us to willingly limit our freedom for the sake of another’s spiritual well-being.
It’s important to remember that Paul does not give one group the right to dictate the conscience of another. The “strong” are called to love, but the “weak” are warned not to judge or impose their personal convictions as universal standards (Romans 14:3, 10, 13). In other words, limiting your freedom out of love is something you choose, not something another believer demands. These passages call both sides to humility, patience, and respect—not control.
Ultimately, when we choose love over winning an argument, whether for or against a certain behavior, we honor Christ and strengthen the unity of His body.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Corinthians 13:4-7, ESV
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